Life: A Maze of Mirrors
I was always an observer of life. I`ve always felt like someone watching life, not necessarily a protagonist of it.
It was until the fifth grade when my innocence allowed me to mingle with people with no fear, and no reservations. I didn’t know what was acceptance nor rejection; just felt like belonging.
I feel like it was Today, coming back to school in the 5th grade and noticing a shocking reality. Kids were growing up, they were now influenced by their own hormones, creating differentiation amongst themselves. Poor/Rich; Squinny/Fat; Smart/Dumb; Straight/Gay; Tall/Short; these were all perspectives to me, not to them. Not anymore.
Fitting in preferred groups was now fundamental for the sense of acceptance/belonging. Creating this ruler through which all should be measured against, they were penalizing anyone shorter of taller than the average.
Acceptance was replaced with judgement, friendship with humiliation. I honestly don’t remember what else was happening in my life at that time. I know that year was important. I went to my holiday season in the 4th grade with the feeling of unity and joined the next year to a field of competition. Insecurity.
I`ve resisted as much as I could. I`ve kept my innocence, my good intentions, my hope in the midst of chaos. I even kept playing with kids younger than me. I remember being asked why, and my response was simple “I don’t know, it`s part of my nature”. That is how I became “Nature” in the neighborhood. One of the many mean nick names I received.
I am aware that modern psychology says that our perceived world is a reflex of ourselves. It`s not a hard conclusion to reach. But can you apply it to all your experiences?
If I was being judged and criticized, what part of me didn’t accept myself? When the world is up against you, how can you see that you are the one against you in the first place?
All that I know is that I`ve used my observer skills to show me behaviors I appreciated in people and the ones I didn’t. I started navigating life through the safe roads, avoiding behaviors that were not associated with success, or a trouble-free life.
I literally closed my eyes and focused on the good reflections of me while ignoring all negativity, all dark corners of my consciousness. Many people will say I decided to run from my problems. Fact is that you don’t run from your problems. You don’t run from your lessons. You skip class, home brings homeschooling. It will even ZOOM you :).
The fact is that we all have an identity, which is individual, special, and unique. Our mission is to get to know our identity. Using the mirrors of life (people, circumstances, and events) to help us see our true nature. Our own duality. Our potentials and our pitfall.
Once you understand who you are, your job is to love it integrally. Support it, protect it and nourish it. Even defend it if it comes to that. Preventing that the shapeless mass of the patterned collective to swallow you whole and devour your individualist. Devour yourself.
We were not meant to look all the same, do the same, be the same. We were meant to be ourselves.
Look at life without judgement because you will be only judging yourself,
Accept the reflections as part of yourself, the worst and the best of you. Love each part with all your heart. Be yourself!
Peace, Rodge
